


A New Perspective, Sort Of

by thesacredconch



Category: Lord of the Flies - William Golding
Genre: Modern AU, Past Lives, brief mention of drug abuse, brief mention of self harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 07:06:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesacredconch/pseuds/thesacredconch
Summary: Residual guilt.





	A New Perspective, Sort Of

Jack was a moody little bitch who liked to pretend he wasnt. He liked the pretend he didnt feel; present a perfect image to peers and to adults. But it was a fragile little mask. The repressed emotions mostly surfaced as anger, directed at the people who dared make him feel soft and imperfect.  
So it was odd to arrive at Jack's house to find him sitting on the window sill, knees against his chest,      
/crying/ of all things.  
Roger didnt know how to react. He was unable to feel as Jack felt, and crying people mostly just gave him a sense of awkwardness or discomfort.  
He sat down on the same window sill as Jack, facing him.  
"Whats up?"  
The redness on his face from sobbing made the blues of his eyes vivid, almost unnerving.  
He was expecting anger.  
"I dont know" Jack said, and the fact that he wasnt angry was cause for slight concern.  
"Why are you crying then?"  
"I...I..." Jack devolved into tears yet again.  
Roger didnt know what to do so he just ended up staring and picking at the frays in his jeans. Awkward, awkward, awkward.  
He waited.  
"I feel like I did something bad" Jack finally managed  
"How do you mean?" Roger said  
"I mustve had a dream but I cant remember what it was, but it feels like I hurt someone. Like I hurt someone very badly"  
Roger stared some more  
"I dont get it, like... guilty or...?"  
Jack looked at him with some alarm  
"Of course, what else would I feel over that? Do you think me some monster? Im... Im not, I dont think so anyway" and then he was crying again.  
Roger felt shaken a bit by Jack's response.  
Roger often woke up feeling like he'd done something awful, but not guilty. More satisfied, like he'd broken some restricting rule, a rush of satisfaction and pleasure. But he always remembered his dreams, and when he did he was saddened with himself, but still never guilty, just sad that that existed within him and sad that it was immovable from his very core (he long gave up trying to pray or cut it out of him. the drugs didnt exactly help with anything but taking away his ability to think about it too much.)  
So this meant he was a monster by Jack's books.  
He figured that would be the case for most people, but the confirmation just...  
He averted his eyes to the window  
"That sucks dude"  
Silence.  
"Yeah"


End file.
